When we were children and all desperately clamoring to sit on the one radiator in our classroom our teacher would call us to order by informing us that we would give ourselves piles. This is nonsense really because piles are basically caused by constipation, poor circulation, pregnancy, overeating on a low-fibre diet or any circumstance which causes pressure to be put on the veins around the anal passage creating a condition in which they become swollen and twisted. The major problem does seem to be constipation especially of the ‘sit and strain’ rather than the ‘I will wait until I feel like it’ variety. Whilst piles may not be caused by sitting on heat I do wonder if they can be cured by the old method of sitting in iced water. The most recommended methods of trying to rid yourself of piles are to eat a high-fibre diet with plenty of bran, take a vitamin B6 supplement, drink plenty of water and add honey to your diet (some people recommend it as an unguent).Walk whenever you can, every day.

Soothing Suggestions

• Witch hazel Keep a bottle of witch hazel in the refrigerator and use it on a cotton wool compress.

• Garlic or marigold The old herbalists suggested a suppository of raw garlic cloves, the very thought of which makes me wince. Garlic oil, cream or skin salve are much more soothing and healing suggestions. Marigold oil or calendula cream are fragrant alternatives.

• Pilewort (lesser celandine) This very astringent little herb has been used for many years, as th name implies, to reduce, shrink and soothe piles. A decoction made by simmering 40 g (1.5 oz) of pilewort in ½ litre 9scant pint) of water until it is reduced by half can be applied on a hot compress to shrink the swollen veins. Pilewort ointment is the favorite method of application and you can make your own by gathering the roots in the spring. Weigh then pound together. This mixture is left to macerate for five days in a stone jar after which time it is gently heated, strained and pressed through a cloth. Good home remedy for piles or hemorrhoids.

• Bilberry , sloes or yarrow  Decoction of any of these are astringent and may also be used on a compress to much the same effect.

• Blackberry leaf tea Drink this tea to help the circulation.

• Roast figs, honey and thyme Popular as a paste for chilblains, this remedy was also popular as a cure for piles. You may draw the line at the other remedy recommended for both chilblains and piles of 1 tablespoon of honey and glycerin mixed to a fine paste with egg white and flour. However I am assured that it works after one application. One of the good home remedies for piles or hemorrhoids.

• Essential oils Use 1 dessertspoon of olive oil or 1 drop of geranium oil in cold cream. Cypress oil in hot water can also be used as a soothing compress.

• Alum and lard  One teaspoon of powdered alum melted into 40g 91.5 oz0 of pure lard is another very old-fashioned remedy.

• Horse chestnut Suspend disbelief and carry one in your pocket; as it hardens so will your piles diminish. Another popular belief was to carry a small bag of the root of wood avens around the neck. Why I do not know but some times these strange remedies work.